![]() ![]() “5,000 Candles In The Wind” by Andy Dwyer I thought maybe 10 minutes had gone by since I started talking, but it’s only been 15 seconds.”Ĥ5. I did everything I was supposed to do and I walked around the building four times and only 20 minutes have gone by. “Chris gave me this great job as a weekend security guard at City Hall. “Did you know that the food you eat becomes energy? Boom! That’s spaghetti. “Do I have to tuck my shirt in? Because honestly that’s kind of a deal breaker.”Ĥ3. “I once ate a Twix bar with the wrapper on it.”Ĥ2. “Is that a goose that just flew by the window? Oh, it’s a plastic bag.”Ĥ0. “For the last time, Ron, it’s Princess Rainbow Sparkle.”ģ9. “Is that a goose that just flew by the window? Oh, it’s a plastic bag.”ģ6. “For the last time, Ron, it’s Princess Rainbow Sparkle.”ģ5. “That is the coolest sentence I have ever heard anybody talk.”ģ4. “Anything is a toy if you play with it.”ģ2. “Let me just say, from the bottom of my heart, my bad.”ģ1. “Looks like this Siberian Husky, is going to be Russian…off to jail.”ģ0. No job.”Ģ8.”I don’t know who Al Gore is and at this point I’m too afraid to ask.”Ģ9. By different time of day, Andy Radical: possum-tackler. Andy: “I’m going to win you a million teddy bears.”Īpril: “Well, I want a billion teddybears.” Andy: “Well, that’s a little unrealistic.”Ģ7. “Just remember, every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at the moon. I feel like there should be a term for that. “The words that they say sound passive, but seem aggressive. “This song is called ‘5,000 Candles in the Wind.'”Ģ4. “In order to think like one of these guys, you have to think like them.”Ģ3. Leslie: “That doesn’t sound like Ann.” Andy: “Well, I can’t really do her voice.”Ģ2. Andy: “I want Ann back and she says she needs a guy with a lot of money.” It’s like I’m wiping a marker or something.”Ģ1. “Sometimes when I wipe, I’ll wipe and I’ll wipe and I’ll wipe and I’ll wipe a hundred times. ![]() “I’m not crying, okay? I’m just allergic to jerks!”Ģ0. ![]() “I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks.”ġ9. Go ahead and sting me, bees! It does nothing!”ġ7. Andy: “Aw, babe…you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing.”ġ6. “If you rearrange the letters of Peru, you could spell Europe.”ġ4. “I promise I will not spit in anyone’s food unless they should request that I do.”ġ3. “I have no idea what I’m doing but I know I do it really, really well.”ġ1. I wish I could marry you all over again.” (Gasps) “Let’s get divorced!”ġ0. “When they say 2% milk I don’t know what the other 98% is.”ĩ. “I’ve always wanted a doorman named Ernie. The best damn agent they had, until I was framed for a crime I didn’t commit: stealing the president’s rubies.”ħ. “I take my shirt off because the bad feelings make me feel sweaty.”Ħ. “I tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and I broke everything.”ĥ. Andy: “I can’t believe we’re at Hogwarts!”Ĥ. “Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you could have network connectivity problems.”ģ. Read on for the very best of Mouse Rat’s frontrunner, Burt Macklin FBI, and Johnny Karate.Ģ. To help narrow it down, we’re adding a list of our favorite Andy Dwyer quotes to our Parks and Rec collection. It’s hard to pin down which gave us more laughs: Leslie’s (Amy Poehler) over-the-top compliments, Jerry/Gary/Larry’s (Jim O’Heir) misfortune, Tom’s (Aziz Ansari) “treat yo’ self” attitude, Ron’s (Nick Offerman) anti-government policy while working in government, April Ludgate’s (Aubrey Plaza) dark and deadpan one-liners, or Andy’s kind-hearted but dopey persona. Parks and Recreation may have wrapped in 2015, but the quotes from its hilarious characters live on forever. It’s been five sad years since we said goodbye to our favorite Parks Department and its lovable employees. ![]()
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